For millions of years, in millions of homes, a man loved a woman...

When I was young, I never really wanted kids. The idea of having children just never really appealed to me, but I always thought I'd have them because everyone does. That was how it seemed to work, you grew up, got married, and had kids. Plus, I knew that my mother was going to want grandchildren, and I loved her and so I wanted her to have them.

I never really thought about it, just went along with the assumption that I would grow up, get married, and have kids. When I was fifteen and in ninth grade, I actually gave it some thought, and I came to the conclusion that I didn't want kids. I surveyed a LOT of people, all of my friends and quite a few acquaintances. Out of them all, one of them said she wasn't sure whether or not she wanted kids, and another said she didn't. All of the rest wanted to have children someday.

A few years ago, I found the MySpace pages of those two girls, and under "Children" both of them have put "Someday."

So I figured that I was the only one out of my group of friends who didn't want kids, or at least I was the only one who was willing to admit it. In late 2005, I somehow found myself at the "Childfree" LiveJournal communities. A person who is childfree does not want children; they call themselves childfree instead of childless because childless implies that they're missing something and they feel that they aren't. "Childfree?" I thought. "A bunch of other people who don't want kids?! Wow! They're just like me!" I read those communities for several months, but eventually I got enough of the crap on them and the drama and everything else (I consider LiveJournal to be one of the great sewers of the internet), and I quit reading.

But I still considered myself to be "childfree." I didn't want kids, and I had no plans to have any.

So has that changed? Well... maybe. I think I now qualify as a "fence sitter." "Fence sitters" aren't sure whether or not they want kids. I'm in that category now. I don't want them, but I know feel that I could change my mind on that and decide that I do want them someday.

But I don't think I'll be having my own. For one thing, I don't think I will be able to have kids without doing a bunch of fertility treatments, and I won't do that. It's expensive, it has the potential to really break your heart if it doesn't work, and maybe that is God's way of telling you that you shouldn't have kids of your own. There are lots of kids that need to be adopted, and I would rather do that. It might not be "MY VERY OWN" but at least I'll be helping a child and not adding to the overpopulation on the planet. That's another rant I won't get into, other than to say that I believe God gave us this planet to use, and we're abusing it. We've trashed it, this beautiful planet, and it's just being ruined. It's sad.

I've also found myself wanting to make families that have babies or children in The Sims, and I have been looking at parenting message boards and blogs, and I even subscribed to the "Baby Blues" comic strip.

I really like parenting blogs, especially the "Because I Said So" blog here on Blogger. Well, actually, I don't like all parenting blogs. I like the ones that are amusing, and not really sappy. I don't enjoy reading about how a person's children are the best in the world, or anything like that. (And that applies to more than just parenting blogs, too. I know lots of people think that about themselves, but no one else cares.) Sweet moments are fine, but not the constant superiority or sappiness. That's more than I can take.

So will I end up having children, either my own or adopting? I don't know. It's a possibility, I suppose. I'm not going to just run out and have kids/adopt because that's what everyone else does, but I also don't have my heart set against it, either.