(S)he had that hopeless look a person has who always loses at everything

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt."
~Dorothy Parker

So, I had an interview today, for the school I want to go to in the fall.

At the time, I felt that it went fairly well. I mean, for some really strange reason, I wasn't very nervous at all. I expected to be sweating and shaking horribly, but I wasn't. I don't know what got into me. I didn't do terrific and totally wow the interviewers with my awesome, thoughtful answers, but I thought that I did much better than I had feared. I didn't even have any nightmares about this, which was a true shock! I tend to have dreams about everything... Anyway, after I left and started home and had time to think about it, I started getting nervous. One of the interviewers was a student of that school, and I started to think that maybe she decided I was a crank and not worth the time. Maybe one of my early answers made her think, forget it, and just totally dismiss everything else I said and the essay I wrote. For several minutes in the middle of the interview, she was sitting there fiddling with her bracelet or her watch or her cuffs or something. I couldn't tell exactly what she was doing, and I couldn't figure why she was doing it. I mean, what's up with that? Geez.

Times like these, I seriously wish that I had chosen something easier for my career. Why couldn't I have just stuck with business? It might have been boring as can be and might not have been exactly what I wanted to do, but at least I didn't have these kinds of worries. Plus, I have the song "Champagne Supernova" associated with this school, for some reason, and typically it's a happy song - a song for the town I'm moving to, a song for getting away. Well, the other night I had a dream and that song was in the dream, and I was sad and depressed because I had moved out and was all alone without my family. It was extremely depressing.

So now I get to worry for about a month, until I find out. It's going to be a rough month, that's for sure. At least I got this far, to even have an interview. But that doesn't mean I'll make it the whole way. I wish I could quit worrying about it. But I mean, I tried so hard. I really did. I've been working for this for a long time now! And I just... don't know. "Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world. Because there is nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams."