Everything was fine when you were alone, or at home, but as soon as you were with other people you were in difficulties

Sometimes I wonder whether or not a group of women exists that gets along without silly little petty issues.

I am friends with several girls about my own age (21-22). We have known each other and been friends since high school, but we've all parted ways now and gone all over the state, so we see one another only rarely. We do communicate to a greater or lesser extent online, but of course that is not quite the same as seeing one another in person.

On the surface, we all get along well. We rarely fight or argue, little disagreements don't amount to much, and everyone is friendly with everyone else.

And yet, when I talk to them one-on-one, I find that resentments frequently bubble beneath the surface. Sometimes they take an incident and try to turn it into something that it is not, while other times, they dislike someone's personality or basic behavior.

I'll admit, I used to be bad about being secretly resentful and wounded. Even now, I am sometimes hurt when I find that I was excluded from something, or left out of something else. But I've basically accepted it. It's not intentional. If they don't invite me to something, it's not because they secretly dislike me or because they're mad at me, it's because they were just being somewhat thoughtless, or because they didn't think I'd be able to go, or because they forgot me. I don't really take it personally anymore. It might sting for a little while, but in general, I just let it go.

I have learned to keep my mouth shut. I am not as closely knit to the group as others because I keep my mouth shut. When I disagree with something, I don't say anything at all. When something offends me, I just take it (that's pretty rare, though).

I have learned that telling people my secrets will not necessarily make them tell me theirs, so I am very careful about sharing. I have a tendency to open up to people at random times, which is okay, except for when they don't open up in return. One friend in particular always wants to know the latest gossip, always wants to be in on everything, but she never shares anything deep about herself. I don't know what she thinks about Obama or whether or not she has a crush on anyone, I don't know why she is having a disagreement with another friend or if they have made things up, I don't know anything. She never says, but she always wants to know everyone else's secrets.

On Saturday night I referenced something (someone, to be exact- Beautiful Eyes) that I don't really want to discuss with them. Fortunately, it didn't come up again tonight. I was glad, because when I got home, I asked myself why I brought it up. I don't want them to know my problems and secrets when they haven't told me any of theirs.