I don't even know what to say

Okay.

So, last semester, I did pretty poorly in school. This semester has been a little bit better, but things still haven't been liked they used to be when I was at my other school. Last Tuesday, I had a test in a class we'll call Frustrations II. It was the second test of the semester. I barely studied for the first test, but I somehow managed to get a B.

For this second Frustrations II test, I wanted to do well. I wanted to get an A in the class. Frustrations I and II have a lot of math, and it's not particularly difficult math, so I thought that I should be able to do fairly well.

So I started studying early, because although the math isn't difficult, it's easy to make mistakes. The test consisted of 100 points worth of material from Frustrations II, and 20 points of review material from Frustrations I. I spent a good amount of time reviewing the material from Frustrations I (the professor told us exactly which material it would be). I had it down! I was ready for it. I started studying on Saturday, on one of my rare weekends home! When Tuesday rolled around, I felt ready. I didn't feel confident of making 100% or anything like that, but I felt good about it.

I took the test, and it went pretty well. There were two questions I was pretty sure I missed, and one math question that was a bit troublesome, but all-in-all I thought I had done pretty well. I thought I'd gotten an A on it.

I got to class this morning, and the professor began handing back the tests. The girl next to me said, "Uh oh, this could make my day a whole lot worse." I laughed and said "Awww" because I thought that I had done well enough that it wouldn't damage my day.

Well, wasn't I just all kinds of wrong! I got mine back and flipped through it to find my grade. I got an 88 - but that's 88 out of 120, not 88%. So that comes out to a 73%.

I looked to see what I had missed. I did okay throughout the 100 points of Frustrations II material; I missed several things I hadn't expected missing, and I only got one point of partial credit for the 6 point math problem I'd messed up on.

But I did okay until the review from Frustrations I. I missed four out of the five problems, even though I had been sure I'd gotten at least 4 of the 5 correct!

We are able to rework the Frustrations I review problems and turn them in for one point of credit each, so of course I planned to do that. I finally steeled myself to look through the test to see exactly what I'd done wrong on the review.

Here's the thing: I don't even know. I fixed one of them (I hadn't realized what the professor was asking, so I missed it), but as for the other three, I have no earthly idea what I did wrong. Seriously! I have my tests from last semester, a textbook, and notes, and I still don't know what I did wrong!

How can I fix them if I don't even know what the problem is?!??

I am so frustrated. I studied for the first Frustrations II test for about 2 hours, and got a B. This time, I studied for much longer than that, and got a C. What's wrong with this picture?!

Why did I bother studying? I mean, I get Cs without studying... so why did I waste the time?

I don't know what I'm doing that is so wrong. Why does everything here blow even when I do what I'm supposed to do? I mean, last semester, my grades were so terrible because I didn't study. This time, I did study, and my grade was still awful! What more can I do? Other than sit here and cry about it, that is. I wonder how many of the people who did better than me spent as much time studying as I did? Probably not many of them. It seems that I am just a moron. I am so sick of things always being like this.

There are times when I really wish that I had just stayed at my other school, kept my freakin' sweet scholarship, and majored in something else. I was going to do business, originally. What happened to that? I should've stuck with it. I could be graduating in May, instead of having to endure 2.5 or 3 more years of this torture!

I wanted this so badly. How did my great big wonderful dream turn into this nightmare?