Skydiving.

Wow.

Just, wow. I think I have discovered my One True Hobby.

I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time writing about the experience itself it in this blog because I have done that elsewhere, and because you can go online and find all sorts of tales of skydiving. But just rest assured that it was super.

Strangely enough, I felt very little fear. I was a bit apprehensive as we drove to the dropzone, and then a little more apprehensive as I signed the waivers and watched the training video, but when it came time to board the plane, and throughout the jump itself, I was not nervous at all, just ecstatic.

It's not that I'm brave, though. Never think that I am brave. My cowardice just takes a different form. I'd rather jump out of a plane a thousand times than turn around and talk to Beautiful Eyes, or approach him in Wal-Mart or at the library.

They say everything comes out even in the end, and I suppose it's true. I was fearless when it came to skydiving, but I am incapable of even meeting the eye of a cute guy at a gas station who's looking at me. I am the girl who will only go shopping on Tuesdays because she knows that a certain someone has lab that day and will not be in the stores, but is not afraid of parasailing or hang gliding or skydiving.

Everyone who went loved it, and I think almost all of us said we wanted to go again. Of course, not everyone will. I am going to, I know that for sure, but I'm not too certain about the others, even the two who organized the whole event. But it was too amazing to not go again! I can't imagine never doing that again! On Facebook, I found this quote: For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. It's so true! Between January, when I decided to go, and now, I would look up at the sky and wonder what it was going to be like. Now I know, and now I look at the sky and think of going again.

Completing the accelerated freefall course will cost at leat $1,710, but I'm going to do it. Since I am a student and have three more years of school, it's going to be awhile. The people I went with plan to go again in the summer, and if they don't, I'll go alone. I'll get a friend to go with me and watch/keep me company. I can't avoid this.

Leave it to me to pick one of the most dangerous and expensive hobbies! Hahaha!

This may sound silly or overly dramatic, but seriously, this has made me feel a lot more favorable towards things. I now have motivation to stay in school and not drop out no matter how bad it gets, because if I don't graduate, I won't be able to afford to do this. If I do graduate, I should hopefully even be able to afford my own custom setup someday, and those start at about 3 grand. I was never suicidal, but I saw where it could develop. This gives an additional reason to keep pressing on.

I like skydiving even better than I like Beautiful Eyes. I now have that lovely memory to sink into when I start feeling bad about other things. It's something good that I can always fall back on, and motivation to keep doing what I've been doing, only better.

Of course, I haven't made a good start on that today. I've been too busy wasting my time on the internet.

One thing I can say is that I liked myself when I was doing it. I don't hate myself, but typically I don't really like myself, either. I'm always too loud, or too quiet and mousy, or too stupid, or too weird, too irritating, too fat, too lazy, too afraid... but I wasn't any of that then. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't angry or sad. There's a picture of me that was taken right after I landed, and I love it, because I looked so darn happy. I don't have any other pictures where I look like that. I want to look like that more often.

My new hobby, it was born on Saturday.